"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff that the wind blows away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish." - Psalm 1 (New International Version)
For more than a couple years now, I have been wondering how and when God might use me in some type of ministry to point people to Him. As a homeschooling, stay-at-home mother of three, and a military spouse, you can bet there is plenty to keep me busy. My priorities lie with my husband, my children and my responsibilities as homeschool teacher. Outside of that, I find that I don't have a lot of time to focus on anything else to do it well. However, I have a huge passion for people, and for sharing the hope and eternal life that comes through Christ. But how and where do I do this? Or is it even the right season of my life to serve in this way?
Of course, I try in any way I can to be Christlike to those around me, whether it be in the grocery store or at my child's gymnastics lesson. Yet I long for something more. So my question is, has God given me this passion so that I will pursue something more for His service? Or am I just jealous of public ministries that others have, and discontent with what God has me doing right now? If God would give me a clear answer to that question, I would be grateful, so that I would know how to proceed. I could then give myself fully to the work of managing the home and teaching the children; or carve out the time and work necessary to pursue whatever assignment God might give to me.
There is one thing for sure. As Psalm 1 says, I will be like a tree bearing fruit in season if I delight myself in the law of the Lord, and meditate on His Word day and night. Sounds like an assignment to me.
Update June 12, 2011 - It was fun to re-discover this entry, but not surprising to realize I feel I'm still in the same place I was 1 1/2 years ago when I wrote it.
It's easy to see the fruit of my husband's job and ministry as an army chaplain. Even easier to view my life as ordinary, and possibly fruitless. Although, as a mother, and an advocate that motherhood is a valuable investment of one's time, I have to agree with friends who often remind me that I'm doing right by my children by my conscientious training of and caring for them. As someone pointed out, this is one thing no one else can do or be for one's children, and doing it well is my goal.
So while I sit here trying to type an article with multiple interruptions, and it seems nearly impossible to put a complete thought together, I will try to remember that the most important fruit I can nurture in this season of my life are the well-loved, well-cared for children in our family, and the growing marriage I am very grateful for.
There are still other interests I have, and pursuits I hope to find time for in carved out moments and planned getaways when my husband takes our children out of the house so I can have a break. So we'll see where God leads, in His time.