Thoughts on Finding Peace

     My typical weekday is spent at home with our five children, ages 4 through 17.  I have no quiet children.  And they are all very different.  And they’re siblings.  As a result, there’s a lot of noise.  Noise from general chatter, singing or humming while they work on school, practicing musical instruments, noise from me giving direction, correction, and trying to focus them on the task at hand.  What gets to me the most is the sibling arguments.  Sometimes I feel like a referee, arbitrator or judge and jury all day long.  Other times I’m so frustrated by their disobedience or their rotten attitudes that I start yelling.  (I hate yelling, but it seems nobody takes me seriously when I’m asking nicely.)  After school we have noise from the TV, playtime, and Dad arriving home.  During dinner, everyone talks at once.  By the end of the day, I’m ready for the kids’ bedtime.  Noise is everywhere.  I just want some peace!

     I long for peace and quiet, but I also long for peace in my mind.  The struggles in my mind are constant.  How do I handle certain situations as a mom, as a wife, as a friend.  What does our future hold?  What do our children’s futures hold?  Am I preparing our children well enough for adult life?  Is God pleased with me?  Will He intervene in the painful situations I’m praying about?  In the evenings, my husband and I usually watch the news, but much of it highlights tragedy and pain and fighting.  Sometimes it all just drags me down.  Where is God in all the suffering and war I hear about in the news?

     If you’re like me, you could use more peace in your life.  I’d like to talk about a few things that I believe help bring us peace.  We can find peace by guarding our hearts, by cultivating our relationships, and by focusing on Jesus.

     First, guard your heart.  Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  Consider whether you might be taking on burdens you are not meant to carry.  I know there are times when I choose to take a break from watching the news or keeping up with what is happening to my friends on Facebook.  There is plenty to cause worry, or to instill fear, or to make us sad.  Now, if my family and close friends are going through hard times, I want to know about it so I can support them and pray for them.  But with today’s technology, we’re able to hear, see and read about much more pain and sorrow from people around the world.  Sometimes my heart just can’t take it.  I believe we sometimes carry burdens in our hearts that we’re not meant to carry.  I can find peace by guarding my heart from excess burdens.  But I can also find peace by fully trusting God with the burdens I am carrying.  When I pray for people I love, I need to release their care into God’s hands.  God may direct me to act or speak to be a part of their care, but ultimately, my prayers should entrust them to God’s capable hands.

     Second, in order to find peace, cultivate your relationships: with God and with others.  Each of us is personally responsible to cultivate our relationship with God.

“But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.  So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.” - 2 Peter 3:13-14

Our relationship with God was initiated by Him, but we have a part to play in cultivating it.  He can change us to better reflect Jesus only as we are willing to allow Him.  He can speak to us, but we need to be listening.  If we’re ignoring Him or disobeying Him in some area, we lack peace in our relationship with God.  So each of us must be personally responsible to cultivate this most valuable relationship.

    If we do this, we can draw from God’s strength, which enables us to maintain better relationships with other people.  He shapes our character and enables us to extend love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  While our human tendency is to react negatively when we’re offended, God’s strength helps us to:

• Overlook small offenses and extend love and grace to others, especially those who frustrate or hurt you.
• Confront more serious offenses with the Biblical model and prayer. (Matthew 18:15-17)
• Cope and forgive when apologies are not given.

Living a Christ-like life is a world-changer.  We can bring peace to our relationships through drawing on God’s deep, deep love and extending it to each person He has created.

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.” - 2 Timothy 2:22-23

“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.  But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” - James 3:16-18

     In a world where the evil one is seeking to steal, kill, destroy, divide, discourage and deceive, we reflect the glory of a God who gives generously, brings life, restores, unites, encourages and is truth.

     Third, we can find peace by focusing on Jesus.  In John 14:27, Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  We have everything we need in Him!  When you’re bogged down by conflict or chaos, fix your eyes on your Savior, Jesus.  Soak in His Word as much as you can.  Talk to Him about it.  Remember His power and great love and the hope He has given us.  Sing or listen to songs of worship.

     Praise brings us joy!  Praise God in the midst of weariness, sorrow and pain.  Be reminded of His ultimate control and love, and His presence which is always with us.  Rest in His control.  If you’ve accepted Jesus as your Savior, you have the Holy Spirit to help you know God through reading His Word.  What a rich blessing this is to have a Creator God who sent His Son to live among us and to show us what God is like, and who conquered sin and death, and now lives in Heaven to intercede for us, and for those who have made Him their Lord, have the Holy Spirit to guide and direct our thoughts and actions!

     It’s amazing to me how sometimes I come to realize I have entrusted God with the destiny of my eternal soul, but I forget to entrust Him with my day-to-day concerns.  He is working in me to change my response to my children when they frustrate me, and make me a better model of character to them.  He is showing me how to train them to work out their differences.  He is giving me insight on how to be a better mother, wife, friend, and disciple of Jesus.  He is showing me what work I can do to help grow His Kingdom and share His news of salvation and great love.  And He is giving me peace in the midst of chaos.  And my peace is a witness of God’s presence in my life that may draw others to seek Him also.  So guard your hearts, cultivate your relationship with God and with others, and focus on Jesus.  Let Jesus give you peace.

I Could Never Do That! - Homeschool Edition

I hear it all the time when people find out that I homeschool our children.  Five children, to be exact.  And yes, we even homeschool through high school.  People say they could never do it themselves.  

My response?  Yes you could, if you believed it was best for your children, or for your family.  

I’m really an ordinary person.  I attended public school from Kindergarten through 12^th grade, and graduated.  I have a college degree, a B.A. in Music Ministry.  I have no desire to get any further degrees.  But I love learning!  I’m naturally curious about everything.  And through homeschooling my children, I have learned SO MUCH!  Some of it I had forgotten, some I never learned in the first place, and some I just didn’t have the context to really understand it like I do now.  It is very enriching.  Homeschooling has exposed me and my children to some high quality books on history, science, cultures, biographies, as well as innovative approaches to learning how to write well and to understand math.  I’m grateful for the opportunity my children have had to learn from these resources.  You see, ordinary me enjoying extraordinary resources with my children!

Often the reason my “never” conversational companion states for homeschooling just not being an option is they would butt heads with their child(ren).  Yep.  I do.  I recently took a simple enneagram quiz that pegged me as a 9 “The Peacemaker” or mediator.  Peacemakers struggle when there’s conflict in their environment.  Guess what?  There’s conflict in our home environment multiple times a day because there are five siblings!  I butt heads with my children.  I redirect, correct, admonish, urge, plead, remind, coerce, whatever it takes for us to accomplish what I believe we need to accomplish in a day.  

We will learn, we will complete today’s work.  Then we may relax.  That is, until I give you a chore.  After that, you can relax.  But limit your screen time.  In fact, go outside and play.

Truth be told, butting heads is part of parenting.  They don’t want to do things.  As their teacher and mother, it’s my job to set those expectations.  There are certain things which I perceive will prepare them for successful adulthood.  

When we butt heads, since we have to live with each other, we work out our issues and maintain the mother-child relationship.  It’s not easy.  Motherhood is a tough job.  I am a better person because learning to relate to each of my children well develops my character.

There are scores of reasons why I believe homeschooling is the best thing for our family.  

- I treasure the opportunity to really know my children well as they learn and grow

- I love that we learn from the Bible together daily.

- When we’re done with our schoolwork for the day, we’re done.  No homework for the evening.  My children have time to play, explore, read about things they’re interested in, and create without being overscheduled.

- As a military family, our children would have had to adjust to a new school every 6 months to 4 years.  Because state standards vary all over our country, and even the standards among the districts in each community vary, my children would either be behind or ahead of their grade-peers and have to adjust or suffer accordingly.  We have eliminated that source of stress by carrying our school with us - when we move, our school moves, and my children have educational continuity.

- I know our history is based on the purposes and story of God and the people He loves, and that through studying world history, we can learn lessons to better our future.  Consider this article - https://wallbuilders.com/god-milling-action-american-history/

- Our learning is centered around developing our character.  

- Our learning is not merely for meeting academic standards, but for preparing to serve a purpose of value in whatever community we find ourselves in the future.

Because I see such value in it, I continue.  And as I do, I learn how to do it a little better each year.  When I began, I didn’t know nearly as much as I do now.  Through other homeschool families, books, websites, conferences and curriculum, I have learned a lot.  And I’ve learned the most from working with my five individual children with their various learning styles and preferences and strengths and weaknesses.  Ultimately, the journey of learning from them is what I treasure the most.

  

My Unique Life - Ramblings

I have found that in the community we currently find ourselves, both in our church, and in our military community, I seem to be unique.  I seem to be a part of a small group, a minority, in several categories.

I am a stay-at-home mother with four (going on five) children who range from age 1-12.  Would you say a large family is a family of 5 or more?  We'll soon be a family of 7.

I also home school, which means I choose to be around them ALL DAY LONG.  So, rather than take time for myself while they are being taught by someone else, or rather than get a job to increase my income or utilize my education and skills, I teach them and I am not increasing our income.  I suppose I am utilizing my education and skills, though not necessarily the same set I might choose a career in.

I'm not socially outgoing.  I'm also not a complete introvert.  I can lead, but right now, choose not to.  In a group, I tend to listen more than talk.  I tend to hang back rather than put myself out there.  In a group discussion, I will pay attention to all that is being said for awhile, and unless I find there is something very different from what is being said that needs to be said, I would rather hear others' perspectives rather than share my own.

Today in a Sunday morning class my husband and I are in at the church, called "Simplify" by Bill Hybels, we were challenged to assess how we spend our time and money, and simplify those to fit our passions and the culture (fast paced and challenging, or laid back and free) we are most comfortable with, to best utilize our God-given talents and abilities in a way that really motivates us (and benefits others).  I recognized once again that I was one of two stay-at-home mothers there, and the only home school mom.  This means I have a unique situation.  In order to participate in a discussion with the rest of the group, I would have to explain my unique circumstances first, and expect that no one would relate to me.

I think being related to is one of the deepest desires of the human heart.  Knowing someone else knows what it's like to go through what you're going through puts our minds at ease, gives us hope, and helps us know that we are doing alright, or we will be okay.

I have resolved, with the blessing and support of my husband, to home school our children.  Because of this, it is my job, 24/7, to care for our children's needs, including their education.  (Thankfully they sleep at night.)  It has some similarities to being self-employed, except my clients don't pay me for my services, and I set my own deadlines (within the requirements of the home school laws of our state).  Add to this that I am not by nature a self-starter, self-motivator, or a self-disciplined person.  I can be for short periods of time, but I burn out quickly with rigid schedules and guidelines that I set for myself.  New Years' resolutions, for example, are not appealing to me.  Rather, they are a burdensome idea.  I really need daily, or at least weekly resolutions.  Sometimes hourly, when one of my children is trying my patience or constantly bickering with her sister.  But I don't really bother with resolutions at all, because they usually just invade my freedom to do what I feel like when I have a spare moment.

In class this morning, we were encouraged to ask ourselves what our passions were, and whether we were pursuing them either with our profession or with our volunteering.  I always come up blank on this sort of thing, because it doesn't seem to matter what my passions are if they aren't being a mother and a home school teacher.  That is what I do.  Am I passionate about it?  Occasionally.  Do I thrive with motivation on a daily basis as I do it?  No.  Especially in February when it's cold outside, we're confined indoors for at least 6 hours of schoolwork time, and there are exactly 15 weeks of school left in the year.  I can't wait until Summer break.

I am passionate about learning.  I also love to hear the discussion from my children when they are learning too, and I get excited to see them understanding new things.  But I am not passionate about the constant reminders to stop chatting and get back on task.  I'm also not passionate about the number of hours of our day that is consumed by completing all the prescribed tasks of our curriculum.  I have no problem with the curriculum - I think it has wonderful content.  I only wish it didn't take so long into the day.  My brain hurts by 2 p.m., and I get to wondering when everyone is going to finally complete their work for the day.

I am passionate about giving our children a good childhood, preparing them for a good adulthood, and giving them the training in character that will help them relate respectfully and productively to others in the world around them.  I want them to know and understand the truths of God and His Word, and how all that relates to the school subjects and life and eternity.  But I get bogged down with discipline issues:  Why does she have such a pattern of disobedience?  Am I handling this right as a Mom?  Am I being too hard on her or too easy on her?  How do I get through to her about the importance of making the right choices?

I am passionate about other things too, but those things don't fit into my life right now.  I think about them sometimes.  But I don't see how I could carve out time to pursue or enjoy those things.  In another future season of life, I hope to have time for that.  It'll be a time when my brain won't be so bogged down with home school responsibility or raising children.  My thoughts will hopefully be more complete, less interrupted, and creativity and vision can flow freely.

I paint such a glamorous picture of what I do, don't I?  Only 18 1/2 more years.

I do love my "job".  Sometimes.  I'm told that I'm good at it.  My children make a good impression on others.  They are well behaved for others most of the time, and they are well educated for their ages.  That is rewarding to hear.

But I do have passions, interests, ambitions, beyond the joy and struggle of raising and teaching our children.

There are so many women who don't home school and who enjoy a career.  Working a paying job while my children are growing doesn't appeal to me.  I feel I would miss out on their lives, and that I would be too tired to be a good mom to them.  Putting my children in public school doesn't appeal to me either.  We did that for a couple years.  It wasn't awful.  In fact, the school itself was very well-run.  But there were a number of drawbacks.  And the number of benefits I see in our home school is truly worth my efforts.

Perhaps there are a few things I can do to enjoy the journey more.  It'll be food for thought and exploration.  I'm always a fan of trying new things, so more of that to come.

I don't mind being unique, especially if I think it works best for our family.  But I do hope I can find a way to relate to others, whether finding local people who share my uniqueness (does that make me no longer unique?), or finding ways to relate to others in different situations than my own.

Training Children in Good Habits

Argh!  Some things we are trying to teach our children are a source of constant frustration because we hear ourselves continually repeating the same instructions over and over.  For example, the last several days I have had to remind my daughter that getting dressed includes putting on socks and brushing her hair.

Another recurring mantra I hear coming from my mouth is when one of the girls comes out of the bathroom and I say, "Did you wash your hands?"  The youngest of my three girls has made hand-washing a regular habit, while the others have not.

"Did you change your underwear this morning?"
"Did you hang up your towel after your bath?"
"Did you clean up your Legos when you were done playing with them?"
"Did you put the books back on the bookshelf?"
"Did you put your dishes in the dishwasher?"

The most intense series of parental advice packed into a small amount of time comes at meals:  table manners.  We have a list of table manners posted in our dining room for all to see.  They are:

1. Sit on your bottom with your feet and knees down.
2. Say "may I", "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome".
3. Mealtime is not playtime.
4. Do not play with your food or dishes.
5. Don't sing or make silly noises.
6. Chew with your lips closed.
7. Don't talk with food in your mouth.
8. Wait patiently for food to be passed to you.
9. Eat your food without complaining.

My poster is pretty cute, actually, with a table drawn above the set of manners.  Each manner is color-coded, and I will say, "What does the green rule say?" to someone who is violating the green rule.  Everyone knows you should not talk with food in your mouth.  But this bad habit is one of the most highly committed offenses in our home.

It's really getting old.  There must be some way to break the vicious cycle, to stop the insanity of repetitious reminders.  I'm getting tired of hearing myself talk.

We have tried rewards for doing daily responsibilities.  Didn't work.  Nobody checked their list to ensure they had done what was expected of them for that day.  There are certain privileges the girls cannot enjoy unless some things are done.  For example, no TV or computer games if your room is a mess, or your clean laundry is not put away.  Yet, sometimes I forget to ask, or check, or sometimes Dad forgets too.

I know they're only 6, almost 8, and 10.  I want to see them taking initiative and responsibility for all these areas of personal care, manners, taking care of their rooms and belongings, and practicing their piano without my constant nagging.  I don't like being a nag.  There must be a better way.

I think my next approach will be to tackle one good habit per child per month, or until it's mastered.  It's going to probably require a lot of diligence and energy on my part until they are trained.  I guess that's my job as a mom anyway.  Ugh.

Breathing Room

I have thoroughly enjoyed the past three weeks of break from homeschool and our busy weekly routine.  It feels like it's been so long since I've had so much time to let the girls just play all day long, and to let myself enjoy a good book.  I've enjoyed several good books on this break, and it gives me the itch to read even more!

Next week we will jump into school again, as well as the volunteer leadership work I do.  It fills my week completely.  Most evenings I am either spent mentally, and absorbing mindless television, or browsing facebook, unless I'm doing last-minute prep work for something due the next day.  Occasionally I'll have time to get out of town for a date with my husband, but not nearly often enough.  My schedule is more full than any non-type-A person should ever have.

Consequently, I have learned discipline.  I am not a naturally disciplined person.  I like freedom in my day.  I say that I am an idealist, wanting things done well, but I hate structure.  I value cooking tasty, healthy food for my family, homeschooling our children, volunteering at our church, and spending some time with friends building relationships.  In the last two months, I also chose to value getting exercise 3 times a week.  There is no way to accomplish all this without structure, so I have managed to create it and stick with it.  I wouldn't say I enjoy it, but the results of being structured have been motivating.

So I give all the glory to God for how He has trained me this year, and how He has blessed my human efforts for the benefit of others.  He prepared me for what I am doing now, and He has brought me through a year of growth while doing it.  I have a feeling this coming year, God will build on that growth.  I know I could use yet more discipline in some areas.

So before next week hits, I am really enjoying the breathing room.  It's been a time to prioritize, envision, read, pray, hope, reflect, organize, and enjoy.  I hope I can find a little time in the coming 52 weeks ahead for at least a little breathing room.  That time is really a part of my growth Spiritually as well.

A New Kind of Summer

Well, we completed our school year near the end of May, and I'm so thankful for the break.  I really don't enjoy structure and routine (unless it's our daily hour of quiet time after lunch).  So Summer, to me, equals freedom and relaxation!  Except . . . there's one problem.  Last December my husband's Army job moved us to the desert Southwest.  It's June, and it's REALLY HOT!  It can be pleasant around 5:30 a.m., though, I discovered this morning.

But playing outside during the day - especially during the afternoon - requires forethought about sunscreen, water, proper clothing, proper shoes (because flip flops don't cut it for running around in the grass where there are thorny weeds ready to puncture or latch on anything that passes by).  The air is bone-sucking dry, which is really hard on the sinuses, and I have to ask myself, "Am I really willing to sacrifice my comfort in order to allow the children to play outside properly supervised by me?"  (They can play in the back yard without me, but usually they want to ride bikes in the front.)

So rather than freedom and relaxation, summer is feeling more like being a prisoner in my air-conditioned house for self-preservation, and more work for me in figuring out how to entertain these desperately bored children.  We're staying active with 2 weeks of day camps for the older two girls, swimming lessons twice a week for them all, and the library's summer reading program.  But we can't just go for a nice walk, hike, bike ride, or anything without the fear of the intense sun sucking the energy out of you and leaving you feeling radiated for the rest of the day.  We went for a hike this morning and the heat plus exertion has flattened me for the whole afternoon!

So I'm trying to make the best of it, as Army wives do, and dream up how to capitalize on our situation.  My first thought was to adopt the Mexican idea of an afternoon siesta during the hottest part of the day.  When we were stationed in Hawaii, this was also something we heard the natives did, or used to do.  Next, I observed that the neighbor kids tend to go outside to play while we're eating dinner, and stay out past the time we've been putting our girls to bed.  Putting two and two together, I realize that if we have a siesta, the girls could probably stay up a little later to enjoy the evening cooled down air with their friends.

I have a number of crafts, activities and games we don't have time for when we are schooling that we're beginning to do.  I set up a craft table in the main room where we can leave unfinished projects to work on over the course of several days.

I have stocked up on water play accessories and bubbles and located our sidewalk chalk.  We'll get outside as much as we can stand.  Hopefully soon I'll get over the fear of bugs and snakes coming out of the darkness and crawling outside at night so we can make use of our telescope.

I'm really looking forward to our trip "up north" to visit family in a couple weeks to escape this heat!

Is It the Right Season?

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff that the wind blows away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish." - Psalm 1 (New International Version)

For more than a couple years now, I have been wondering how and when God might use me in some type of ministry to point people to Him.  As a homeschooling, stay-at-home mother of three, and a military spouse, you can bet there is plenty to keep me busy.  My priorities lie with my husband, my children and my responsibilities as homeschool teacher.  Outside of that, I find that I don't have a lot of time to focus on anything else to do it well.  However, I have a huge passion for people, and for sharing the hope and eternal life that comes through Christ.  But how and where do I do this?  Or is it even the right season of my life to serve in this way?

Of course, I try in any way I can to be Christlike to those around me, whether it be in the grocery store or at my child's gymnastics lesson.  Yet I long for something more.  So my question is, has God given me this passion so that I will pursue something more for His service?  Or am I just jealous of public ministries that others have, and discontent with what God has me doing right now?  If God would give me a clear answer to that question, I would be grateful, so that I would know how to proceed.  I could then give myself fully to the work of managing the home and teaching the children; or carve out the time and work necessary to pursue whatever assignment God might give to me.

There is one thing for sure.  As Psalm 1 says, I will be like a tree bearing fruit in season if I delight myself in the law of the Lord, and meditate on His Word day and night.  Sounds like an assignment to me.

Update June 12, 2011 - It was fun to re-discover this entry, but not surprising to realize I feel I'm still in the same place I was 1 1/2 years ago when I wrote it.

It's easy to see the fruit of my husband's job and ministry as an army chaplain.  Even easier to view my life as ordinary, and possibly fruitless.  Although, as a mother, and an advocate that motherhood is a valuable investment of one's time, I have to agree with friends who often remind me that I'm doing right by my children by my conscientious training of and caring for them.  As someone pointed out, this is one thing no one else can do or be for one's children, and doing it well is my goal.

So while I sit here trying to type an article with multiple interruptions, and it seems nearly impossible to put a complete thought together, I will try to remember that the most important fruit I can nurture in this season of my life are the well-loved, well-cared for children in our family, and the growing marriage I am very grateful for.

There are still other interests I have, and pursuits I hope to find time for in carved out moments and planned getaways when my husband takes our children out of the house so I can have a break.  So we'll see where God leads, in His time. 

M's Birthday Party

Score one for supermom who pulled off the 6 year-old's birthday party, and a good time was had by all.

    We had to have something that was easy enough for me to handle without my husband's help, and fun enough for M and her friends.  So her science party accomplished that.  She had a funfetti cake with sprinkles (which she applied herself), and we found these candles that spelled out "Happy Birthday" and a separate set with her name.  Funny thing was, her name candles didn't light, but the happy birthday ones did.  Different materials used in the making?  I don't know.

    So we started by letting the kids drop a dissolving colored pellet in warm water and watching it grow into a animal-shaped sponge.  Then when everyone was here, we broke out the Insta-Snow powder we got from Steve Spangler Science.  It was a hit.  They just cupped their hands together, I put a small scoop of powder in their hands, poured on the 1/3 cup of water, and voila!  They said it tickled their hands.  It was really cool to watch, and with 8 children, we got to watch it 8 times.  Then they got to play with it for awhile.  Very cool stuff.  I wish I'd had someone there to video tape their reactions.

Then we made our own root beer.  The kit came with root beer extract and champaign yeast, and I provided the tap water and sugar.  I also had ordered 1-liter bottles from the science website.  The kids each made their own special labels for their root beer.  It takes 10-15 days to "brew" while the yeast make the carbonation.  So they got to take those home with instructions on what temp and how long to let it brew.

    Next we went outside again to do a few "tricks".  I had a kit that contained all the supplies.  Some of them were the same things we'd done at this summer's Group VBS, so half our guests recognized them.  These included "disappearing water" using water gel powder (polycrystals that absorb the water and turn it into gel so it sticks in the cup and you can surprise unsuspecting children that the water "disappeared"); stretching a banana (an optical illusion) and blowing up a large windbag with a single breath (using positive air flow, instead of the intuitive balloon-blowing method).

    The one fun thing M was aware we were going to do (the rest were surprises) was a geyser, done by dropping Mentos into a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke.  Having never done this, I was unsure of what to expect.  It turned out well, and the kids were amazed, and I managed to avoid getting doused with diet coke spewing into the air about 15 feet or more.  We even strained out the Mentos afterward and the kids ate them.

Then it was birthday cake and ice cream time.  It'll take us awhile to eat the gallon of Neapolitan ice cream we bought.  I think I'll reuse the bucket for storing all these science supplies I've acquired.  Now, I had hired one of my favorite teen babysitters to help me with our youngest child, so she could be here but not be a nuisance to me pulling off the party successfully.  However, my sitter was more of a party assistant up to this point, because A slept the whole time up until it was time for cake and ice cream.  (Good timing!)

    Then M opened her presents, and the kids were asking me, "are we going to do any more science experiments?"  So I pulled out the last one I had prepared, where you stick a hex-nut into a balloon, and blow it up and tie it, and swirl it around and it makes a screaming sound.  That kept the kids entertained until it the parents came to pick them up.  Their goodie bags included a pair of safety goggles, their own windbag, and a giant plastic test tube with their own Insta-Snow powder, and more science ideas they can do with the test tube.

 I think one of the moms thinks I'm a science geek.  She attributed my party plans to the fact that I'm a "homeschooling mom".  Guilty as charged.  However, I'm not sure the kids actually learned anything.  I filled them up with sugar, we played games, and I sent them home with more sugar.  Isn't that what birthday parties are all about?  Next year, we may have to do another science theme so I have an excuse to buy more of the really cool products I've discovered.  Now that is probably more indicative of my tendencies as a homeschooling mom - looking for ways to justify buying more cool school supplies!

Enhancing Your Marriage

Last Spring semester, a friend and I led a group of ladies through this wonderful Bible study on marriage, "Enhancing Your Marriage" by Judy Rossi.  It takes 12 weeks of 5 days/week of work to get through the study, and I recommend doing it with a group, to help you stay motivated to keep at it.  If you have ever done an in-depth study such as one by Beth Moore, or "Experiencing God", you will know to expect to look up a lot of verses in the Bible, and do a lot of writing and note-taking in your book each day.  The rewards are worth the work! 

What I specifically appreciate about this study is how much time she spends on leading the reader to study who God is.  If you understand His unlimited power and ability and love, you realize any issue in your marriage, big or small, can be handled with His help.  I am currently going back through the first five chapters where she discusses the nature of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, because it was a lot to take in then, and I want to soak it in more slowly.  Hopefully I'll retain more this time through!

The ironic thing for me in this study was, while the book asked questions to apply principles to my marriage relationship, I found myself being convicted more in the area of parenting!  It happened over and over throughout the class!  I'm sure it had to do with the fact that my husband was deployed to Iraq for the first two months of the class, so he wasn't too hard to get along with then.  But also, my husband is quite mature and patient with me, so even with him home, our marriage issues often stem from my own shortcomings!  So her newest study, "Raising Responsive Children" may have to be my next venture!

This study is applicable to any married woman, whether newlywed, married for many years.  It could also prove helpful to a single woman or engaged woman looking forward to marriage in the future, or even a divorcee, or widow hoping to remarry.  Judy Rossi also does an excellent job of making the material applicable to Christian women who have unbelieving husbands.  This is a very common situation, and she handles how to act in this type of marriage very well.

With marriages under so much strain, and being considered so easily discardable by so many, this study is a valuable resource for any group of women looking to enhance their marriage.  I highly recommend it for all!

My husband is home from 15 months in Iraq!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Chaos Ensues

    Why is it that when you put our three girls together, the result is chaos?  They feed off each others' antics, whether they're playing well together or getting on each others' nerves.  This leads to escalating decibels of noise pollution, and sensory overload for me.  That is why they were put to bed at 7 p.m. tonight.  Aaah.  That was two hours ago.  They went right to sleep.  I went right to my Bible study.  I feel much MUCH better now.

    My usual strategy to deter them from either fighting or from creating too much havoc in the house is assigning one of them to a task.  Willing, or not, they eventually do it, and not only does it distract them from the sibling they are either antagonizing or encouraging toward complete rambunctiosity (yes, I made that word up), it also aids me in maintaining an orderly home.

    For example, here's something that might happen around dinner time.  J comes to me complaining that M is not sharing.  I assign J to clean up the baby dolls she left in the living room.  By the time she gets that done, M is ready to share.  A comes in wanting food.  (This often occurs.  Especially if I happen to be in the kitchen.)  I assign her to observe the pizza which is baking in the oven.  She peers in at it, exclaims "pizza!" and then goes off to play again.  M comes in saying she's hungry.  I put her to work setting the table.  See?  It works.

Cooking and Cleaning

As a mother of 3 small children, I find myself spending the majority of my days cooking and cleaning. I've come to the conclusion that if I didn't have to feed my children, I would have a lot more time to do other things! It's the daily grind of meals, snacks, dishes, cleaning up crumbs, wiping off faces and washing hands, laundering bibs and soiled clothing and kitchen towels, putting clean linens away, making weekly menu plans, grocery lists, running to the store, putting food away, preparing food, etc. I think I could safely say that 30% of my awake time during the week is spent doing these things! I told my husband I feel like an oxen plowing a huge field, as I trudge through these tasks.

However, I need to remind myself that it is part of the noble calling of motherhood. I am not just cooking and cleaning. I'm providing healthy meals for my family. I'm ensuring their good nutrition and ability to fight off germs. I'm giving them fuel for their bodies and brains to help them grow and mature as they should. I'm showing them myriads of things by example on how parents should work diligently to provide for their children, so that someday they will do the same for their own. I'm teaching good stewardship of our resources by not being wasteful, and by keeping the home God has given us clean. I could go on and on listing the many values that are being caught and taught with these daily tasks I carry out.

I think that's a pretty good investment of 30% of my day.

Signing Time

From the time our firstborn was 7 months old, we began working with her to teach her a little sign language. You've probably heard the wisdom in this - that babies can learn simple hand signals before their verbal development allows them to form words. Therefore, if they can communicate with signs, it reduces the fussing and screaming that results from their frustration on not being understood. We have not only found this to be true, but also found that it's enhanced the progress in our girls learning speech and the meaning of words, AND, sign language for them is as much fun as singing songs.

Our sign language journey began with a resource called "Sign With Your Baby" by Joseph Garcia. I recommend the kit, which includes the book, a laminated reference chart of signs, and a DVD. From this, and our persistence, our first child learned to sign "more", "help", "milk", and a few others I can't remember right now.

When she was about two, I discovered Signing Time videos at our local library, and fell in love with them. These are fun videos for children and parents, because they include wonderful original songs that teach and reinforce the signs being taught. The first series has grown into 13 DVDs, each with a set of different signs. If you want something geared specifically towards babies, check out the two volumes of "Baby Signing Time". Last year, PBS began showing Signing Time on Saturday mornings. Now I see the company has recently released series two, which includes 13 new DVDs. Pardon me while I go update my Amazon.com wish list. Never mind. Amazon doesn't carry it yet.

Well, you can go to www.signingtime.com and see all about what they offer, and get a preview of what I'm talking about. My three girls all love the videos we currently own at their ages of 5 1/2, 3, and 1 1/2. So I hope you can find these at your library too, or put them on your wish list and enjoy!

Go Fish

No, I'm not talking about the card game, but a Christian music group I've recently discovered that has made several great albums for kids. Self-described as "Great music for kids that won't drive parents bonkers", they've put out 5 albums that do just that. We own two of them, "Snazzy" and "Snooze". My girls love listening to them in the car. It's music we can have fun with, dance to, and sing together as we be-bop down the road.

You can hear samples of their music at their website http://gofishguys.com/ and see their videos at http://www.youtube.com/user/gfguys .

I want to make special mention of one song called "The Mom Song". It's nice to hear the appreciation for an unsung hero put into a fun song. Check it out on either of the websites mentioned above.

Wise Words for Moms

Only last year I discovered this unique resource called "Wise Words for Moms" by Ginger Plowman. I was searching for Biblical principles to apply to training our children. My search ended when I spent $4 on this tool.

The size and format of a calender, Wise Words for Moms is perfect to hang on a wall, bulletin board or refrigerator. You'll find 21 categories of wrong behavior or attitudes, along with Biblical ways to deal with them. Some of the categories are complaining, discontent, defiance, lying, arguing, tattling and worry. Each behavior has "heart probing" questions to ask your child, which helps them to recognize and admit their fault. In the next column, you'll see the sinful behavior with Scripture that teaches it's wrong. This is the thing you're reproofing, and asking your child to put off. Then comes the encouragement, the thing you encourage your child to put on. Again, the righteous behavior is coupled with Scripture that teaches on it. The final column lists additional verses that deal with the behavior.

I'm planning on using this as part of my home school curriculum in the coming year, as part of my goal to begin teaching Godly character. My hope is that I'll memorize these verses along with my daughter, and maybe even become a bit of a pro at coming out with these Scriptures to teach the younger two as certain behaviors come up. What a great resource for encouraging your children when you see them doing what pleases God as well!

I can't mention this tool without also mentioning Ginger Plowman's other resources. To better understand her parenting philosophy, and the way to use "Wise Words for Moms", check out either her DVD, called "Reaching the Heart of Your Child" or her book, called "Don't Make Me Count to Three". Both contain the same content, so choose the media form that suits your learning style best. For those of you who are familiar with the book "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp, Ginger Plowman's approach is similar, but for me, easier to identify with.

Parenting is a high calling. It's so much more than fulfilling your own desire to have children to enjoy or pass down the family name and traditions. It's more than seeing to it that your children are healthy and happy, and grow old enough to move out of the house. The resources Ginger Plowman has written really inspire parents to invest themselves fully in training their children in the fear and instruction of the Lord. If this is what you're looking for, you can find a myriad of resources at the website for The National Center for Biblical Parenting: http://www.biblicalparenting.org/

Ginger Plowman's resources can be found at her website, http://www.gingerplowman.com/. I've also only started to read her book, "Heaven at Home: Establishing and Enjoying a Peaceful Home". So far it's very good. I see she's also added a new book "No More Whining! Three Easy Steps to Whine-Free Living". I need to order that right away!

"Professionalizing Motherhood"

I can't say enough about about this book by Jill Savage. I wish I could give a copy to every mother. For the past 4 1/2 months, I've been leading a class of young moms through this book.

In our society, being a stay-at-home mom is often looked at as the choice of a woman who isn't smart enough or good enough to work a paid job; or it's viewed as an interruption to pursuing a career or pursuing your own dreams. Jill Savage, however, in writing this book, not only affirms staying at home with your children as a valid expenditure of your time and energy, but also challenges mothers to take it on as you would any profession, by building a network of other professionals, utilizing resources to enhance your skills, pursuing it with a clear purpose with real goals and expected outcomes for your family. She also gives great ideas for how to be organized, how to laugh and have fun, how to be gracious, how to have a marriage-centered family, how to make Christ the center of your home and daily life, and building an incredible resume.

From this book, a mother can gain a new perspective that her role as a mother is a God-given calling, a privilege, and something she can do well with God walking with her daily. In our culture, a Godly mother who can give her children the love, support, guidance, training and stability they need is so necessary. I believe a generation of mothers who invest themselves fully in helping their children prepare for adulthood would change our culture immensely for the better.

If you like this book, or the concept of it, you should look into the ministry that Jill Savage has founded, called Hearts at Home. You can visit their website at http://www.hearts-at-home.org/ to see all that they offer. I particularly recommend their conferences. I've attended two myself. Moms who can attend one of these conferences, while getting a break from their children, will come away refreshed, inspired, and equipped for the profession of motherhood. The ministry also has an e-mail newsletter, an online message board community, a magazine, several books and other tools for moms, and gift items for sale that celebrate motherhood.

Purpose, Passion, Persistence

Recently, the chaplain preaching the Sunday sermon challenged us to pursue the full life that God intends for us by finding out our God-given purpose, pursuing that one thing with single-minded focus and with passion, and by doing it with persistence. It came as no surprise to me, after praying about it for awhile, that my purpose is to be a wife and a mother. More specifically, I believe my purpose is to be a Godly wife to my husband, and to be a Godly parent to our 3 children. Being mother, for me, also includes being a home school teacher.

I have a strong desire to be a change-agent in our culture, pointing others to Christ for salvation and life. Right now, that means that I give a lot of time and energy to my children, teaching and exemplifying a God-honoring lifestyle. My aim is that they will come to accept Christ as their own personal Savior, and that they will mature and learn what they need to in order to be change agents themselves as adults. I feel God has equipped me with the desire and ability to teach our girls at home, rather than having them in an institution for school. I enjoy seeing them learn, and I love being the one to show them new things, and help them discover. They love learning, and I love teaching. I'm learning too-- a lot.

I trust that God is going to use the next 17+ years, while I commit to raising and teaching our girls, to prepare me for another ministry when they are on their own. I also believe that along the way, I'll have opportunities to minister to other moms, to other children, and to other Christians as I serve in my local congregation.

So through this blog, one thing I thought I'd do is share some of my passion for motherhood and for home schooling by reviewing resources that have been helpful and inspiring to me. There are so many I know of already! Perhaps as I go through the journey of raising my girls, others will be blessed by these same resources because of what I share.

Just Another Manic Saturday . . .

. . . Wish it was Sunday.  I usually get to really relax on Sunday afternoons.

Today I've been sorting, cleaning, cooking, and shuttling.  M is at a birthday party for a friend, playing on one of those inflatable water slides.  J, not to be left out, is playing in the little kid pool in the backyard.  A joined her at first, but got too cold.  So she's scattering things around the house that I cleaned up this morning.  Oh well, nothing new here.  I made fruit pizza this morning - M was dying to try it after I mentioned it.  I had enough fruit and sauce to make a 2nd one, so made a 2nd crust, and called my neighbor and she gladly accepted.  In return, she left me her 2nd grade daughter, who played with the older two girls for an hour or more, and gave me time to spend with my baby, and time to get some things done!

My husband wants me to send him the text of about 8 obscure Dr. Seuss books so he can make recordings for the girls.  It's a lot of typing.  Dr. Seuss used a lot of exclamation points.  I can relate.  He also used italics and all caps for emphasis on some words.  Have you ever read "The Butter Battle Book"?  It reminds me of the Cold War with Russia.  Could be.  Then there's "The Cat in the Hat Comes Back", during which the Cat in the Hat makes a pink cat ring by bathing in the tub.  He removes the stain in the tub by cleaning it with a dress, removes it from the dress by wiping it on the wall, and so on, until finally the stain is swept and blown by a fan out the window onto the snow.  It's really disgusting if you think about it.  I still have to type "Fox in Socks", "Hooper Humperdink? Not Him", "Horton Hears a Who", "If I Ran the Circus", "If I Ran the Zoo", "Oh Say Can You Say", and "Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose."  A couple of those I haven't found yet - have to get through inter-library loan.

I requested about 23 books from the local Army library system and the State library system for home school.  We'll be learning about how books are made, fractions, how many days in a week, how many months in a year, Colonial times, the American Revolution, the Civil War, the Presidency, the White House, children around the world, maps, easy science experiments, shadows and light, and musical instruments and their families.  I'm so glad I can teach my own child Kindergarten.  I've already learned a lot myself.  You laugh.  However, I'm enjoying the library books.  There are quite a few interesting things in them I didn't remember or never knew. 

Below are a few pictures from the last week.  The first is my new plumber.  Then the older two girls at gymnastics, followed by the girls participating in "PT at the Park" where they did Mousercise.

Small Potatoes

The title is in reference to my children.  I came home from choir practice tonight, and there they were, snuggled in their bean bag chairs in front of the cartoon channel, with sippy cups in their mouths, and lap blankets on.  The sitter said they had previously been actively playing outside, so they weren't completely couch potatoes yet.

Lately, my activist nature has been surging, wanting to merely change the world.  There are a myriad of issues that concern me about the American culture, specifically.  We're so spoiled, and we have taken for granted what our founding fathers and early pioneers of freedom worked so hard to create and preserve.  More importantly, many have either abandoned the foundational truths of Scripture and worship of God Almighty in favor of a lifestyle that brings themselves comfort, convenience and entertainment; or worse yet, they've turned against God altogether.  There's a lot of brokenness in our nation's homes.  Children are growing up in these broken environments, never learning the values and morals that make a citizen great, so they don't learn how to do their part in making the country great, even in their own community.  This is one of a dozen or more issues on my mind.

So someday, I hope to somehow be a change-agent in our culture, pointing people to God and His ways.  It may be through some sort of public speaking, writing, music, or however God leads.  My efforts won't change the whole world, but I hope they will change some lives.

Meanwhile, I've got more pressing things to do, like raising our 3 girls to be God-honoring people themselves, and to find what abilities they have that God gave them to use for His Kingdom.  And, if I say so myself, that is no small potatoes. 

If you know a mother with children at home, you should encourage her with this message.  Moms  are very important, and many moms don't recognize the value in what they do.  I recognize my value in this role, and I pray that God guides my daily choices to help me be a good role-model and a parent who disciplines with grace.